Today we will being going over anal aka BUTT STUFF. lol no but seriously today I am going to provide you with the tools to safely & pleasurably fiddle with your butt.
FIRST AND FOREMOST, I want to mention this one rule;
NEVER use numbing lubes, creams or gels. This is not solving an issue of discomfort or pain and anal should NEVER hurt! If it hurts that means something is wrong !
This actually causes more harm then good as your pain receptors are there to let you know that something is wrong, When using numbing it is not making the play easier, it's just making it to where you can't feel anything. That includes rips/tears, bleeding, hemorrhoids or impacted. These are all things that can SEVERELY harm you in the long run with infections, scar tissue and worse. PLLEEAASSEEE DO NOT USE ANY NUMBING.
Anal is a very tricky play to work with for a lot of people. I always like to let people know that not everyone has to or wants to like it, and that's okay ! You always want to have a conversation with your partner as to what your are and are not comfortable with. As a partner either penetrating or being penetrated , you want to respect boundaries on what someone is not okay with. Some people enjoy rimming but have zero interest in penetration and vice versa. Its just a very touchy subject and is considered kinky for most folks who haven't tried it before. I think this would be a good time to mention the three important rules for anal play;
Lubrication,Relaxation & Communication
aka
LRC (pronounced as lurk)
Lubrication;
It's always important to keep in mind the anal cavity does NOT produce its own lubricant. It may have some mucus to ease the transfer of bowl movements but not much more than that. When trying for the first time you want to make sure you have enough lubricants and the best kind for you ! When choosing lubricants you always want to pick something that is long lasting, viscous or has a lot of slip. Water or silicone based Gel, Silicone or coconut oil lubricants are all great options for first time. However it is important to keep in mind, if you want more "cushion" or buffer between the insertion and anal cavity, use thicker lubricants. Its is also important to remember that silicone lubricant CAN NOT be used with silicone toys, and considering how most butt plugs are made of silicone your restricted to water based or coconut oil. The reason I specify gel is because of the viscosity it decreases the chances of reapplication in the middle of play. Liquid water based lubricants are meant to be a little extra oomf to get things started and then to be very water, as a result they absorb VERY quickly. With water based gel being very viscous, it will still have to be reapplied or reactivated with water at some point in the middle of play. If you want something that is going to have the least re-application, that would be silicone or coconut oil. These are going to be some of the thinner options though so be aware of that. Also, can't believe I have to say this. but NEVER use baby oil or vaseline as lubricant, and I mean NEVER. All kinds of infections, irritation and dryness going on for your butt. if you can't put it in your mouth aka ingest it, DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR DAM BUTT!
Relaxation;
Most people don't know when it comes to your muscles , relaxing is particularly important for your anus. You have two muscles involved which are the outer and inner sphincter. The outer sphincter is the one you can control when contracting, say when your trying to hold in a fart. ( sexy I know lol) and your inner sphincter, this muscle is INVOLUNTARY you have no control over how this muscle contracts. This is why it is super important that you are relaxed when it comes to anal because your mental mindset silently impacts all of your involuntary muscles. You always want to make sure you are doing this on your terms and are comfortable with your partner. If you go into the play being tense and nervous, your body will transmit that to every muscle in your body. That means when you try to put something up there whether it be a finger, butt plug, etc, your body is going to freak out ! Your butt hole will literally be like " GGAAAHH WHATS HAPPENING, I DON'T KNOW YOU ! AHHHHHHHHH" < that is basically what is happening in your body when your muscles are spasming. So relax and breath, if you are the partner who is penetrating always check in with your partner, especially since some people feel they have to just bear down and deal with any pain they might be experiencing.
Communication;
TALK TALK TALK TALK about everything ! This is an act that puts most people in a vulnerable position. A lot of people are doing anal for the first time and are not used to voicing what they are ready for. You always want to communicate what is happening with your partner, whether you are feeling anxious, you are experiencing pain or pleasure, these all help with this delicate situation. Say if you need more lube or tell someone to hold on/wait before continuing. It is totally okay to communicate that you need a second before you go on . Don't rush anything when it comes to anal play, take your time and always check in and react. Never ignore or tell a a partner to " suck it up" who is telling you something is wrong ! This is the most simple rule, just make sure you talk to each other.
Some other pointers is always start with a warm up. NEEEEVVEERR try to just go straight to like penis in butt with no prior prep. People often learn their knowledge about anal from porn but remember porn is not realistic ! They cut out the part of the star getting an enema for an hour then wearing a series of buttplugs for 30 minutes. Why else do you think their butt holes are already slightly open when it pans to the camera. 😒 Any who what I mean by that is never just try to shove the whole thing in there on the first try, you will be sorely disappointed in more ways then one. Always have a butt plug set (at least 3) of inclining sizes to help relax he space. Another thing is that poo comes from there, it is natural for there to be residue throughout the anal lining. It is not necessary for you to do an enema before anal play, as long as you have a nice sturdy poo ( I say sturdy since diarrhea or soft poo is more likely to leave remnants) and a good scrubba dubb shower and you should be good to go. But if you insist there is 2 different kind of enemas, half enema and full, the half takes on rectum and both sphincters which takes around 30 mins, whereas a full enema is going to go all the way up to the lower intestine and sometimes colon which could take an hour or more. Basically DO YOU. (but be smart about it lol)
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